my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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