i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
