I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
