Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
