so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
