what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
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