do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
