Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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