Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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