I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
