You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
accomplished twins. life is a go
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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