last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I DEMAND FORESKIN
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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