We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
