Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
