Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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