OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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