he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
