I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
