like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
