do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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