Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
