you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
