I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Barsexuality is the new black.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
