I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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