I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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