Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
