if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
