Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
