I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
