why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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