we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
