I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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