'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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