You're so nebulous sometimes
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
