her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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