ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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