508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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