What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
