is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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