Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
