Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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