Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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