Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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