Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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