Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
