In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
