so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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