my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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