I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
