So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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