i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
