it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
